Random Goodness



Lyrics and Chords (not tabs) for "El Rito" by Soda Stereo (txt)

Lyrics and Chords (not tabs) for "Blues Beach" by Steely Dan (rtf)

Download MIDI for "Saw it on TV" by Kemopetrol

Lyrics and Chords (not tabs) for "Saw it on TV" by Kemopetrol (rtf)

Norwegian's Guide to Medical Terms (rtf)

Things you must have in your songs to call them "nü metal":

  1. Soft passage, loud passage. Soft passage, loud passage
  2. Megaphone/telephone voice
  3. Pronounce me as "may", you as "yayoh"
  4. DJ scratching with echo
  5. Power chords, many
  6. Lyrics referring to at least one of the following:
    • I can't live up to your expectations
    • Why do you/did you put me through this
    • I'm sorry I didn't live up to your expectations
    • It could have been different, but we lost our chance
    • "Burning"
band excuses

Image courtesy of openphoto.net. Idea borrowed from The Onion.

Ten things that are not

  1. Living in Stoughton, Rhinelander, or Sun Prairie is NOT living in Madison.
  2. Walking once around the block is NOT a workout.
  3. Spending two dollars on a ribbon magnet for your SUV is NOT supporting any troops, anywhere.
  4. Yelling at your dog repeatedly as it jumps on visitors is NOT dog training.
  5. Displaying your general cluelessness about most everything on a C-level "reality" show is NOT acting.
  6. "Shopping" does NOT count as an interest.
  7. An album with ten songs of the same twelve-bar blues is NOT original.
  8. More to follow.

When I am president...

Foreign Policy

  1. The United States will rebuild our relationships with our allies. We will not cede to their judgement if we need to take unilateral action to defend our country against terrorism. However, we will listen to them, and respect and consider their counsel and viewpoints. We will share intelligence information, conduct cooperative military and intelligence training exersizes, and participate in personnel exchanges to foster improved relations and understanding.
  2. The United States will completely phase out sales of weapons to unstable/non-democratic countries. We would join our democratic allies in stemming the arms trade to unfriendly powers. This will cause great turmoil among the many U.S. and foreign companies who make enormous profits selling arms to countries like Iran. Too bad for them. Why should the democratized world sell bombs to dictators?
  3. The United States will greatly expand its non-military global outreach efforts abroad through programs like the Peace Corp, VISTA, high school and college student exchange programs, "Young Ambassadors" programs and Voice of America.
  4. Foreign aid will be increased by several orders of magnitude. Highly visible programs will be emphasized to rebuild our image abroad. Independent auditors from NGOs and private firms will be hired to insure the effectiveness of the aid and the accountability of those who oversee its distribution.
  5. The United States will put more pressure on countries like China and Russia to move towards democracy.
  6. The Immigration and Naturalization service will receive a complete overhaul and a thorough review of its budget. It will work cooperatively with the FBI and CIA to apprehend terrorists while applying basic standards of fairness and decency to U.S. visitors and immigrants. The INS will welcome lawful visitors and immigrants and not treat them like characters in the movie "Brazil".
  7. The United States will vigorously renew efforts at finding a solution to the Israel-Palestine problem. We will explore all reasonable options that the Bush administration has ignored, including bringing in a trusted country like Sweden to the negotiations. We recognize that while terrorism is never justified, a solution to the Israel-Palestine problem has the potential to calm tensions in the middle east, and reduce the appeal of violent solutions to disenfranchised Muslims.
  8. The United States will rejoin Kyoto treaty talks and work towards a solution that addresses global environmental problems without damaging our economy.

Domestic Policy

  1. Within 100 days of taking office, I will create an energy advisory board. It will consist of the most dynamic, creative, iconoclastic and ambitious people we can find. We will tap the minds of: oil companies, alternative energy producers, hydrogen power researchers, urban planners, psycologists, information technology gurus, scientists and economists. We will bring in experts from around the world. This board will craft a long-term plan to a) reduce, then eliminate dependence on foreign oil, b) create an enormous increase in U.S. energy efficiency, c) exhibit international leadership in this area. Additionally, we will fund development of some of our energy programs through U.S. Universities, which will share their discoveries and patents with the government. We will adopt a modified open-source model that seeks to maximize the national and global benefits of discoveries that lead to reduced dependence on fossil fuels and/or a cleaner environment.
  2. I will champion a bold new initiative to bring instruction of civics, U.S. and world history, philosophy, logic, and critical thinking to public schools at the K-12 level.
  3. The federal government will create new scholarships, grants and loans for International Relations majors.
  4. I will restore the old motto of the Federal Communications Commission: "Serving the public interest." I will appoint people to the FCC who believe in this idea. I will propose and champion a new "fairness doctrine" for radio and television outlets. I will opposed further media consolidation.
  5. I will overhaul the Drug Enforcement Administration, beginning with a proposal to decriminalize marijauna and hashish. I will suspend "Plan Colombia". I will redirect law enforcement resources towards capturing and convicting violent criminals, while offering alternatives to prison for non-violent drug offenders. I will suspend the DEA's harrassment of users of Ecstacy. I will push to fully fund drug treatment programs.
  6. I will push for a realistic approach to reducing the spread of AIDS, one that places facts and compassion over scare tactics and misinformation. I will suspend funding for abstinence education and faith-based programs. I wil proposed funding for needle exchanges, which are proven to reduce the spread of AIDS and other communicable diseases.
  7. The federal government will, in partnership with pharmaceutical companies, provide flu vaccines, without excuse, for every man, woman and child that needs one, every year.
  8. The Internal Revenue Service will be fully funded to track down tax cheats in all tax brackets, netting the government billions in lost revenue.
  9. I will attempt to rescind Bush's tax cuts on people earning over $100,000 per year.
  10. I will work towards securing health care for all while avoiding the problems of rationing of care and long wait for procedures.

    11. bas AT expdesign DOT net